Fred Finger

"It's very hard for me to sum up my feelings about Fred because we were friends for 30 years. Since neither of us had brothers or sisters, friendship seemed to be especially important to us. We were teenage beatniks in Washington and Tompkins Square Parks in the no infamous mid and late '60s. We hung out on Greenwich Ave and Christopher Street even before Stonewall, when everyone dressed in some sort of "drag" and most days we felt like we were participating in a theater of sorts. We felt free, stoned on this or that, or not; life was intense and we were close. I had many casual acquaintances but only a small number became like family. Not only is Fred gone now but so art most of the others. Part of me has disappeared, there is no one left who remembers.

When Fred and I really reconnected (he had left NYC in '71) was in the fall of '86 at Evan's bedside at Mt. Sinai. He had a trache tube, he couldn't speak, and his neurological impairment was far advanced anyway, but the eye contact one to the other affirmed all of our existences. Sitting on Fred's bed in his last days was reminiscent of that time. Still, there were important differences; Fred was at peace, he'd put up the best fight imaginable against this cruel and senseless disease and was able, through his own will and the compassion and car of his friends, especially his roommates Chuck and John, to maintain control of his personal and medical decisions. He was at home till the end.

Fred was a very precious soul – very bright, concerned and generous. His venture into becoming a first-class professional chef was an extension of those qualities, a way to express them. His courage to follow his heart where it lead meant that he at one point married and had a daughter, Athena, now in her teens. If Fred had a fault, it was not knowing for certain how beautiful and talented he was. Hopefully, near the end he grew to know it himself more and more, and to know that we who were close to him knew it for sure.

Part of me went with him."

-Tribute bio by Teriananda