Nance (aka Nancer) was born in St Louis, Missouri. She is survived by her mother, Joyce, her brothers Tommy and Michael, her life partner Bonnie, our daughter Jasmine and too many friends to mention. She was a curious, loving, happy child who began making art at an early age. She also sang or hummed almost all the time. She went on to embrace life with fierce curiosity and wholehearted enthusiasm, always priding herself on having a friendly Midwest sensibility.
Nance met her first serious girlfriend at 15. She and Catherine moved into an apartment in St. Louis, played soccer, road bikes, travelled a lot in both the U.S. and Europe– sometimes hitchhiking and camping- and moved to Olympia. Nance lived at an anarchist commune and was a Fine Arts major at Evergreen State College. Nance became friends with Maureen at college and remained close friends with both she and Catherine through her life. She later moved to Seattle, and a few years later to San Francisco.
When she was about 30 things took a difficult turn. She became more and more involved in drugs, and when she tested positive in 1986, she used drugs for several years rather heavily to escape the pain. It was a difficult time, so many of her friends were sick and dying, and it was very frightening. Drugs softened the pain, but as always, they created their own pain. She described losing touch with her ‘light’, including her friends and family. Recovery was a journey that involved humility, faith and hard work.
Nance and I loved each other deeply throughout our 34 year relationship. Nance taught me to see light and beauty in new ways. Walks always involved stopping to examine a leaf, flower, the ocean or the sky. We welcomed Jasmine into the family in 1999. Nance was both a fun loving and also dependable ‘rock’ of a parent; teaching her to ride a bicycle and a car, play softball and tennis. Nance was an avid reader and life-long learner from new art techniques and technology to learning Japanese. Along with daily facts and news events which we all got to learn about in proximity - whether we wanted to or not. She loved to cook, clean and had very unique handwriting. She was a gentle soul with a fierce love of animals. Jas inherited the love of reading and animals, bad handwriting and, unfortunately, did not inherit the cleaning gene. We remain lifelong friends with many of the Harvey Milk Civil Rights Academy (elementary school) families. Nance visited her family in St. Louis as often as she could, spoke with her mom almost daily, and enjoying travel as we all did. She especially loved Thailand and Palm Springs/Joshua Tree.
Once stable with her feet back on the ground, Nance resumed her art work, focusing initially on what it meant to be HIV positive. She started going to WORLD, an organization by, for and about women living with HIV, started by Rebecca Denison in the early 1990’s, volunteering to lead art groups at WORLD’s retreats. Nance created a safe space for women to share stories, tears, advice and laughter while doing a variety of art activities. This is where she met her ongoing collaborator, Sharon Sisken. Together they provided free weekly arts workshops at various sites for many years and with Bob Corti, in 2000, they were awarded an SF Arts Commission grant called Art in Transit to create large posters that were put on the Transit Kiosks along Market St. highlighting people from their classes. Sharon and Nance continued collaborating with passion, ease, skill and joy and were awarded a large grant from the Creative Work Fund at the end of 2019 focusing on ways people with HIV and other disabilities contribute to society.
Nance started printmaking as an artist in residence at Kala in 2004 where she was deeply loved and appreciated up until her death. She was awarded a grant from Alameda Arts Commission to create pieces for display at Highland Hospital. Nance was very connected to Visual AIDS in New York, taught art classes at Hospitality House, presented at several conferences about teaching community-based art and showed her art in a variety of exhibitions. Nance had an ART SPAN studio at the Journal Building for several years where she built strong friendships with other artists and displayed her art.
Nance got very involved with SHANTI’s Honoring Our Experience, thanks to Gregg, a program for people living with HIV/AIDS. She attended retreats, went to Meals that Heal lunches when she could and built many strong relationships with others there.
Health was often a challenge for Nance. She was on a few of the early trial meds for AIDS, some of which caused ongoing problems. In 2007 she spent 5 months in the hospital, at times in a medically induced coma. Nance had ‘emergency’ spine surgery during the COVID pandemic. Ultimately, she died from pancreatic cancer, diagnosed in October of 2024.
In 2007 we happened upon the most wonderful neighborhood, Mission Terrace, where we’ve lived ever since. So many of our neighbors have been good friends, providing support and a sense of community.
Nance had an amazing health care team including her PCP, Marta Kochanska, NP Heneliaka Jones, Ward 86 staff – as well as so many others during her countless hospitalizations and ongoing care. During the last 2 months of her life By the Bay provided wonderful hospice care that enabled her to remain at home.
There are far too many friends, colleagues, and meaningful relationships to name everyone. One of Nance’s special qualities was her ability to really let people know how much they meant to her and how meaningful her relationships were.
She was always full of joy, despite the many hardships she endured. Always up beat. Very inspiring! Even in the hardest of times she appreciated all the things in her life, large and small. No time for complaining. She was indeed the sparkiest, happiest person ever! Often humming to herself... and creating a huge variety of amazing art.
“We live in a wondrous flow of birth and death, birth and death. The end of one experience is the beginning of the next experience, which quickly comes to its own end, leading to a new beginning. It’s like a river continuously flowing.” —Pema Chödrön’s
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